


Wanna Burn My Name in Your Heart

by Raayner



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Episode: s11e22, First Kiss, M/M, we happy few coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 08:55:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6949516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raayner/pseuds/Raayner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What was it that Crowley had said? Coding? Like angels were just machines that could be hacked into with the right tools.<br/>With dawning horror, Dean realized just how accurate that was.</p><p>Coda to Season 11 Episode 22: We Happy Few<br/>Title from Runaway Love by the Diamond Rings</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wanna Burn My Name in Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> this is unbeta'ed so please excuse anything i may have messed up

_Holy Shit._

Holy fucking shit.

Chuck was – okay, he wasn’t dead, but he was dying – _God_ was _dying_. Amara was gone, thankfully, but off doing who-knows-what to destroy everything her brother had created. And Cas –

Cas was perfectly still. Still as a corpse.

Dean swore as he pushed himself away from the yellow metal thing Amara had thrown him against. His back was gonna hurt like a sonofabitch later, but he had to move, do _something_.

“Sammy?” He reached for his brother, tugging on Sam’s jacket to get him to look away from Chuck. It took him a moment to focus his gaze away from the prone figure of the Lord before them, but when he caught Dean’s eyes he nodded, smiling tightly, even though all he wanted to do was scream.

“I’m okay, Dean,” he showed the skin of his forearm, mark-free.

Dean pulled him into a fierce huge, relieved. Sam swallowed, patting him on the back before pushing him away.

“Cas – “ Sam began.

“Cas!” Dean’s head snapped to the angel’s unmoving form and he took the two steps towards him on unsteady legs.

He was _breathing_. Angels didn’t need to breathe, but their vessels did, and this body had been Cas’s for years now. Cas was breathing and Dean dropped to his knees.

“Cas?” Dean tried to keep the hope out of his voice, but his hands shook as he raised them to the other man’s face. His fingers brushed gently against Cas’s jaw, thumbs stroking the familiar path of his cheekbones. The angels eyelids fluttered at the touch and opened at another call of his name.

Dean’s heart almost stopped right there in his chest.

Because those big, blue, beautiful eyes were alive, yes, but there was no recognition in them. It reminded Dean of Emmanuel-Cas from five years ago, but it was so much worse. Cas had always, always looked at Dean and _knew_ him. Not matter if he was crazy, newly-alive, or someone else entirely, Cas had looked at Dean and saw and knew him, inside and out.

It was one of the few constants in Dean’s life, like how Sam would always retaliate if pranked, or how when they said ‘home’, it would always be the impala they thought of first. Dean could count on it, but now those eyes held nothing that he had come to expect.

“Cas?” Dean’s voice didn’t break, but it wavered, and his hands gripped tighter to stop their trembling.

The man before him tilted his head, gaze fixed not on Dean, but up, towards the sky and heaven. This was not the confused-annoyed tilt that followed a pop culture reference (and how Dean loathed Metatron for taking that away) this was, Dean realized, listening for orders.

What was it that Crowley had said? Coding? Like angels were just machines that could be hacked into with the right tools.

With dawning horror, Dean realized just how accurate that was.

What Amara had done, burning Lucifer out ( _don’t think of that – don’t think of the look on Cas’s face and how the light was ripped from him – don’t!_ ), had done a reset; sent Cas back to his original “factory setting”.

Did that mean that they could get Cas back, or was this just a blank slate, a body marked ‘angel’ rolled fresh off the press and ready for orders? Was the whole last _seven_ years gone?

Was this even Castiel anymore?

“Dean,” Sam was on his feet, hovering close.

“Not now, Sammy,” Dean cleared his throat, “hey, Cas. It’s me, buddy, c’mon.”

Dean shook him lightly, trying to get those eyes back to his.

“Cas, hey, come back to us. Come back to me. Cas – I need you. _I need you_. You’ve heard it before, come on I know you have. Cas-“ Dean’s voice broke in a small sob. He choked it down.

Those empty eyes stared back at him.

“Cas,” Dean said softly. One of his hands left the angels face to find the limp fingers of Cas’s and brought it to cup his own cheek, “I can’t say it without you here, Cas.”

The hand stayed where he put it, but there was no intent; it just lay there, resting on Dean’s neck.

They had to go, lick their wounds and come up with a plan, because Amara was out there, and they needed to find her before she came back to deal with them. And Cas needed to be with them, or somewhere safe. As much as Dean hated it, if Cas was gone then the safest place for him was back in heaven. The other angels would come for him, take him back and turn him into the perfect winged soldier again, but he would be safe. As long as the Darkness was defeated and hey, if not, everything was fucked anyway.

Dean scrunched his eyes shut. He didn’t want to leave, almost picked Cas up and bundled him into the impala right there, but he had to stop Amara - had to save the world. He breathed a long, unsteady breath in and pulled the angel into a crushing hug.

“I’ll never stop praying,” Dean whispered to the shell of Cas’s ear, “when Sam and I finish this, I’ll pray every day. I’ll get so annoying you’ll _have_ to come down and see this human that’s been buggin’ you. And then I’ll make sure you stay, this time.”

Dean pulled back to give Cas’s face one more searching look and, before he could overthink or talk himself out of it, he bent forward and slotted his mouth against Cas’s.

It wasn’t the greatest kiss, nor was it everything Dean had wanted from his first kiss with Cas, not with the unresponsive angel under his lips. But Dean had said goodbye to Cas too many times, too many times had he thought he had lost Cas forever, and he was not going to let it happen again. Whether they lived or they all died, Dean decided, it was now or never.

He broke the kiss after a moment, the lack of movement from the other participating party kind of killing the mood. Dean smiled at Cas when he pulled back, and tried not to let the longing he felt be heard in his voice.

“See ya, Cas.”

He tried to move back so he could stand, to go face the Darkness and whatever she had in store for them, but a strong grip on his neck stopped him, Cas’s hand holding him in place.

“Ca-“ Dean opened his mouth to ask, when the rough pair of lips he had kissed just moments ago were on his in a fervor.

Dean’s eyes had flown wide with surprise, but he closed them as he kissed back with enthusiasm. It didn’t last long and they were both out of breath at the end. Dean’s eyes remained closed, his forehead against Cas’s, chest tight with fear and hope. He didn’t want to open his eyes and see that stranger in Cas’s place, but that kiss…

That was what he had imagined kissing Cas would be like.

When he leant back and opened his eyes he found Cas’s still closed. His heart beat in his throat.

“Cas?” Dean asked.

Blue eyes opened and it was _Cas_ , the angel that Dean loved and knew and who saw Dean and loved him back.

Cas smiled, slow and tinged with pain from both Lucifer and Amara, but it was brilliant and beautiful and Dean could breathe once more.

“ _Hello Dean._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> after this aired my friend came up with the great idea that cas loses his memories because of lucifer dying and i was like no thank you and i made it happy but basically this is all her idea i am but a vessel for her mind
> 
> at least no one died by my hands this time


End file.
